Reflections on PiT ~ James’ Thoughts

Feb 5, 2013 by

www.jamesandshilo.comFrom James’ laptop on Tuesday morning…

Part 6 of 6 in the Reflections series:

PiT’s are about 2 points of view. You’ve heard Shilo’s. Here’s mine!

Everything Shilo said is true. The PiT has been invaluable in keeping us together and thriving as a couple. In my experience, every relationship needs a tool that deepens understanding, reveals what is going on under the surface, and builds connection and trust. In reading Shilo’s recent blog posts, I had a few additional thoughts about doing the PiT…

* The PIT is not the place to talk things out or have a dialogue about an upcoming decision or event – schedule another time for that activity.

* Practice completely letting go of something once you have talked about it. Often we want to hold on to a little piece of our anger or hurt so we can bring it back later. Those past emotions just pull us out of our present life – let them go.

* PiT’s do not replace individual therapy or personal development. We each bring who we are to the PiT – if there is something I need to heal, that is up to me. We need to be proactive about our healing and take full responsibility for our own emotions.

* PiT’s do not replace the need for women to spend time with other good women, to help clear and release. Nor does it replace the need for men to spend time with other good men, to be heard and to discuss our purpose.

* If I am feeling something in the moment, I want to fully feel it. If I am remembering the emotion of a past event, I want to let go and move on. And if I am creating bad feelings by imagining a future event – just stop it.

All of this can sound intimidating and difficult. Spend a few minutes watching Bob Newhart, one of my favorite comedians, reminding us to have a sense of humor about personal development, relationships and life.

Be well,

🙂 James

Mad TV presents…


PiT communication tool

Part 1 – Clearing the Yuck

Part 2 – I am Responsible for My Own Feelings

Part 3 – Acceptance is Key

Part 4 – Have you Ever Felt Like You Were Just “Gunning” For a Fight?!

Part 5 – Emotional Maturity? Uhf…


1 Comment

  1. I hear you… and thank you!