The Gifts of Being Sick

Mar 27, 2012 by

www.JamesAndShilo.comFrom Shilo’s laptop on Tuesday morning…

I got sick last month and it was a very humbling experience. I was in bed with nasty symptoms for 10 days and it took another 5-6 days before I felt energized and back on my feet. Over 2 weeks all toll.

What interested me most about this time of clearing was the emotional triggers that preceeded it. And that my getting sick was very clearly my body’s response to those triggers.

On the Sunday of Mazatlan’s Carnaval Parade (kinda like the Calgary Stampede in the summer) last month, I experienced a deep, old emotional trigger that popped up unexpectedly and reared its ugly head. It had me crying and it really challenged me to use my voice and speak up about what worked and what didn’t in the particular situation. The next day, I continued to speak up. However, by lunchtime on Tuesday my physical symptoms overwhelmed me to the point that I couldn’t even follow the conversation in a buisness conference call; I had to turn everything over to James and abruptly put myself to bed.

www.jamesandshilo.comThose 10 days were filled with kleenex boxes, home remedies and medical prescriptions, sleepless nights and time on my hands to do nothing but think and reflect.

What emerged from this cold / flu siege was a deepening of consciousness, an understanding of myself that I had not been aware of before. Why was it so meaningful this time? Becasue I rarely get sick and if I do, I have learned to attribute it to my own energy field (and belief systems) and not anything outside of myself. Yes, there are secondary causes like bacteria, viruses and germs. But those microscopic creepy crawlies are always around, always present. They live on our skin and inside our bodies. If they are around all the time, how do they suddenly gain the upper hand and become a raging army of mischief-makers?

Lousie Hay’s metaphysical chart in her book You Can Heal Your Life is a favorite of mine. Some of my symptoms found on her list gave me more things to think about. Symptoms like:

Respiratory stuff is about letting go. Letting go so you can breathe.

Throat problems are the inability to speak up for one’s self. Swallowed anger. Stifled creativity. Refusal to change.

Earaches are about anger. Not wanting to hear. Too much turmoil. Parents arguing.

Catching a cold is about too much going on at once. Mental confusion, disorder. Small hurts.

Fevers are about anger. Burning up.

www.JamesAndShilo.comInteresting.  I guess my emotional upset created fertile ground for the mischief-makers in my body. Stress, stiffled & unacknolwedged emotions, stuffed hurt, self judgement and all that “yuck” adds up within us. Usually I am on top of this internal dynamic through regular body scans and emotional “check-ins”. I journal, move my body, meditate, walk on the beach, pull oracle cards, talk to a girlfriend – I use these and other tools so that I don’t become victim to the dis-ease that is commonly known as “the cold and flu season”. However, when there are life-changing elements shifting in my consciousness, when I am called to step out of my “norm” – out of my “comfort zones”; when change is so imminent it seems to be dragging me forward into a new reality (willing or not)… it’s my resistance that creates these clearing and healing opportunities.

It certainly stopped me cold-turkey and caused me to reflect upon and really address the true nature of my dis-ease. So, maybe those creepy crawlies were not the bad guys afterall?

Plus, there are interesting shifts happening in the collective awareness of the planet right now; health challenges, flailing relationships, lost jobs & financial challenges are bringing people to their knees. 2012 and the end of the Mayan calendar is just one of many ideas rattling people to their roots. I believe that we (as humans)  are  under-going a massive re-prioritization.

So, even as things are happening in my world that I welcome – shifts, new beginnings and detaching-from-that-which-no-longer-serves-me that I have been very deliberate in creating… it felt (and still sometimes feels) as though the psychic rug was jerked out from beneath me. I felt that even though I was speaking up, no one heard me. Old insecurities surfaced. Lots of loose ends meant that I was in a constant state of “the unknown” – I mean, we are always in the unknown, but my ego likes to pretend that most of the time I have things pretty “together” and that I’ve got “a plan”! Since James and I are moving forward, taking new and courageous “outside-the-box” steps, it puts us in no man’s land. In a place of faith or fear. In each moment I get to choose. Both cannot exist in the same moment. I must choose – and if I don’t consciously choose, my ego will chose for me (always fear). So I choose faith. I choose trust. I choose peace.

Although I do not usually get anitbiotics, I did this time. I have learned not to compare myself to others and how they handle sickness. Healing is an inside job. For me, this time in bed was really more like a spiritual intensive – right up there with a 5-day Illumination Intensive! I am moving out of illusion into clarity, into possiblity, into acceptance, into peace.

I recognize now what steps I am to take, what spiritual work is mine to do. Now – a month later –  it is not completely flushed out yet (“be patient longer” continues to be my mantra depsite my grumbling!), but it is coming together. If I had not been forced to rest, to lie still, to not talk to people, to not be out in the world –  to just let my mind wander and contemplate – these awarenesses would not have arisen.

So, it’s all good and beautiful and perfect… and I NEVER want to go through that again!!!

{smiles & fingers crossed}

 

* Awarenesses Inspired by a Living Consciously email written by Dr Carol Carnes in Feb 2012