Service, Sanity & Sleep
From the laptop of Shilo on Monday afternoon…
The industrial dumpster arrives tomorrow (Tues) for up to 7 days. It is a 30-yard bin: 21′ long x 8′ wide x 6′ tall.
We move out on Friday at 9am.
Move-out cleaning is next Tuesday, the 14th.
We hand over the keys to the landlady on Wednesday, the 15th.
We put a “FREE” sign on an extend-able ladder yesterday and one of our beautiful neighbors rang the doorbell just to confirm that the ladder was in fact free. She ended up taking the toboggan and several shovels in addition to the ladder. It was a win-win and despite her plentiful thanks, I was clear that she was equally doing us a huge favor by taking the stuff. And…That went so well that, weather permitting, we will most likely place other things on the driveway with FREE signs on them – it is wonderful that we are beside a busy path as there is steady pedestrian traffic along side of our house all day long. Fortunately though, almost all of the big stuff is gone from our friends & family open house (which was a HUGE success) and a few garage sales and Kijiji ads.
Thankfully late one evening last week, after a long and hopeless attempt to get to sleep, I finally got up after midnight and did some writing. This lead me to the awareness that there is no way we will get done what needs to be done without help. So, at 1:00am I was busily sending out personal pleas for help to special friends, asking them if they could spare an hour or two Wed/Thurs this week to help us out. The dumpster will be here, so it will be a steady task to bring everything up from the basement and down from the top floor to: sort, donate or toss it. 90% of it at this point is stuff to just toss. Thankfully, we have heard from several amazing people who are willing to jump in and assist us, despite the fact that moving is one of the worst jobs to help someone with. Now that is Service! We are grateful beyond words.
This past week has been a really difficult one for me. I realized that I was trying to control WAY TOO MUCH. And to control things not within my influence anyway. I cannot control James or David. I cannot control when they do things, or don’t do things… Crazy making for me to even try… but try I did for several days. Until finally on Friday, I was at that rare point where the tiniest thing set me off into tears. Sanity felt like a long lost friend. After several more crying spells on Saturday morning, I finally came to my senses and Let Go! It would be what it would be. If we were dealing with David’s entire bedroom at 9am on Friday when the movers came, so be it. If we were dealing with all of James’ collectibles on Friday, so be it.
Then, Saturday afternoon – despite a long list of to-do items – I laid down for a nap. 3 hours later I finally woke up with a big drool spot on my pillow. I needed the Sleep and with it sanity returned and the crying crazy person that had been driving James around the bend for several days disappeared!! It was a good reminder for me that no matter how much there is to do, I need to look after myself and so does he.
Incidentally, by surrendering control over the other members of my family, amazing things happened Saturday night and all day Sunday – miraculous feats! Rooms were sorted, collections were appraised and bought (they came here and took them away, which in and of itself is a huge miracle!!) and more money rolled in!
That too was another reminder of what I already know but sometimes forget: I am not God and when I get out of the way, ease and grace flow effortlessly!